


but i don't wanna dance if i'm not dancing with you

by dolliedear



Series: Valentine's Gifts <3 [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Queer Character, Queerplatonic Relationships, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28875594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dolliedear/pseuds/dolliedear
Summary: It came with difficulties, living with each other, Blaine just as annoyingly stubborn as Sebastian. But it also served as an opportunity to let them learn more about each other.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Series: Valentine's Gifts <3 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104206
Kudos: 4





	but i don't wanna dance if i'm not dancing with you

**Author's Note:**

> title from holy ground by taylor swift  
> for death, my dear <3 you set my soul on fire (smooching sounds)

When Sebastian and Blaine decided to move in together, it was merely out of pure convenience. They’d ended up reconnecting and getting together over the summer after senior year and coincidentally, were attending the same college. Blaine hadn’t set his future on NYADA, and he had backup plans in case he hadn’t gotten in. Which he didn’t. It came with difficulty, living with each other, Blaine just as annoyingly stubborn as Sebastian. But it additionally served as an opportunity to allow them to learn more about each other. 

Unluckily, Kurt didn’t perceive this as a sensible move, expressing that Sebastian nearly blinded Blaine and Sebastian served as a stepping stone into a failed friendship. Blaine expressed that Sebastian wasn’t trying to steal him away and that he’ll be on his remarkably best behavior. Kurt had come to terms with their relationship. It wasn't being his place anyway because he’d dumped Blaine when he left for New York, but he was protective. Blaine was still his best friend, and he wouldn’t allow anyone like Sebastian to make Blaine swoon and then break his sensitive heart. Blaine would have promised that he wouldn’t let a breakup affect him horribly but you can’t make promises for that. He, instead, just assured Kurt that Sebastian would never sadden him on purpose.

They’ve been living together for almost four chaotic years now, both nearing the end of their college careers. Sebastian’s majoring in Chemistry, Blaine in English. They couldn’t be odder, but they’re balanced, cooperative. They’ve been together as a couple, romantically for three years.

* * *

They went shopping together, Blaine had way too many specific things he needed for God knows what, so they opted to shop together. 

“You... don’t like milk?” 

Blaine was pushing a rusty cart through the aisles of a local grocery store, one of the wheels squeaky and infuriating while checking through the list they had made of things they needed. (That had turned into things that they just wanted. Three containers of coffee were not necessary for life.)

“No?”

“How can you not like milk? What is wrong with you?” Blaine’s brows were furrowed.

“Let’s see… For starters, my parents are divorced, I’ve had the unfortunate luck of meeting Kurt Hummel, I’m a college student, and I haven’t gotten laid in months because I’m investing all my time with you.”

An eye roll was what he got in return, “Not like that, you dork.”

Sebastian snorted, “No one’s called me a dork since seventh grade.”

“ _I meant_ , how could you not like milk?” 

“It’s heinous. I’m not quite sure what you want me to say exactly. I just don’t like it.”

“How do you eat cereal? You aren’t one of those freaks who eat it dry, right?”

“I don’t, to both questions. I’m not a very big cereal person.”

“How long have we been living together?”

“About four years now, why?”

Blaine possessed a bewildered look, “I wish I knew I moved in with a demented person. I’ve lived with you for  _ four years _ ! And I didn’t even know you didn’t like milk!”

“You wish? I moved in with you— willingly— with the personal knowledge that you’re best friends with Kurt Hummel.”

“Kurt isn’t cruel like you make him out to be.”

He scoffed, clasping his hand on Blaine’s shoulder as he made off with the loaded cart again, “I strongly disagree.”

Blaine turned around and gnawed his lip before gently shaking his head and smiling involuntarily, “I know.”

*

Blaine had experienced some of Sebastian’s family, totally against Sebastian’s warning that it won’t be a pleasant experience.

Sebastian was mistaken.

Blaine _adored_ Sebastian’s family. They were invited to their tiny apartment for dinner during one of the weekends. It was straightforward from the beginning of the conversation that his father was not welcome so they got his mom, her husband, and their kids. Blaine genuinely liked the liveliness of it all. He occupied himself by talking to Sebastian’s mom— Catarina— most of the night, discussing how Blaine was adjusting into his college life or what living with Sebastian was like, or just a book that they both had read. He was often sneaking eager glances at Sebastian as well, who was spending most of his night with a kid who couldn’t be any older than fourteen. They were sitting contentedly on the couch Blaine had found at a thrift store and had begged for it to come home with them, grinning occasionally and moving their hands in what… looked like sign language. Catarina and her husband, who he didn’t completely catch the name of, had six kids in total and counting Sebastian. Catarina was going on and on about how good Sebastian was as a big brother when he had lived in Paris with them. Sebastian must have caught wind of the conversation because he promptly intervened and told his mother that they should get going because it was late and he had classes the next morning. 

Blaine knew that wasn’t true.

After, Blaine was curled into Sebastian’s side as they watched reruns of old shows that Sebastian had a habit of making fun of. 

“That wasn’t so terrible.”

“Imagine living with them.”

Blaine frowned, “They appreciate you, Bas, I hope you know that.”

He was met with silence, but it wasn’t harsh. He knew that Sebastian wasn’t a feelings guy. He often shut down when Blaine made statements like that.

“I… I know. God, B, stop trying to make me _feel_.”

“Good. Anyways, who was the kid you were talking to all night? If they weren’t severely underaged, I might have felt jealous.” 

Sebastian laughed, a genuine laugh, a kind that made the corners of his eyes crinkle, “Emery? Xe is Lawrence’s kid. I may or may not have happened to take xem under my wing when I lived with my mom. Xey’re deaf. One of the main reasons I learned sign language was to talk shit with them.”

“Xe... Nonbinary?”

Sebastian shook his head, “Xey just identify as queer, I think. Emery’s a pretty cool kid if you ignore the whole being a thirteen-year-old thing.”

“My, my, you, Sebastian Smythe, have a huge soft spot. For Emery, for me,” Blaine giggled, lowering his face into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck.

“I do not. Maybe for Emery but not you.”

Blaine gasped dramatically and gently slapped his hand over his heart, “You wound me, lover.”

“I don’t have a soft spot if your pet name for me is lover.”

“You are so unkind, Seb.”

“Hmm, I try to be.”

*

Sebastian got ill often. Which sucked for him. It was foul, possessing a weak immune system. But for Blaine, it was like Christmas. He dearly loved taking care of people who took care of him. He was aware that he depended on people a lot. Especially Sebastian. Sebastian has been there for him so much. He enjoyed the idea that Sebastian leaned on him when he's sick. Sebastian was also an absolute prick when he's ill. Not only because he's sick but because of the other factors, and they're all valid.

Should Blaine not be taking off classes to tend to his sick boyfriend? Sure.

Should Blaine be making up his missed work from those missed classes instead of coddling sick Sebastian? Definitely.

Should Blaine not be kissing Sebastian because he is sick and contagious? Absolutely.

But that was just not fair to Blaine. If he got sick, so be it. But he's not going to put his affection on hold because of some sickness, _thank you very much_.

So, when Sebastian woke up and found Blaine wrapped up in his bedsheets, it was no surprise. Still, he groaned because— _of course_ —that bastard risked getting sick to take care of him and cuddle him. He shook Blaine awake and Blaine gave him a sleepy smile and kissed his shoulder asking if he felt any better.

“I’d feel a lot better if you were attending your classes.”

Blaine rolled his eyes, “Nursing your raging fever is far more captivating than morning classes.”

“Mm, I’m certain but this can’t get you anywhere in life besides my pants.”

Blaine laughed merrily, bright and loud, and it melted Sebastian.

*

Living together was not all pleasant, though. Primarily, when Blaine decided he was going to start performing his rendition of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” at nine o’clock on a Tuesday night while Sebastian was trying to study for his Chemistry test. 

“B, can you please stop singing?”

Blaine poked his head into Sebastian’s room and frowned, “What? You don’t like my voice?”

Sebastian let out an exhausted sigh and ran a hand over his face, “It’s not that, B. For the record and brownie points,” Blaine promptly threw a sock at him (which he dodged efficiently), “your voice is completely fine. Quite nice actually. It’s more of the fact I have a test tomorrow morning that I’m _trying_ to study for and honestly, the song choice.”

“You don’t like Journey?” 

A grimace honored his features, “God, no. Journey is absolutely... Uh... Jesus Christ. My mom was an avid fan so growing up, it’s the main thing I listened to. And Bon Jovi. Now, I don’t like either of them.”

“Can’t you just? Appreciate the classics?”

“I can appreciate classics, but they never go away long enough for me to recover and appreciate.”

Blaine stuck his tongue out at him, “You’re so lame.”

“And you’re so eloquent. Now, shoo.”

*

The downsides of living together included uncomfortable conversations that Sebastian wouldn’t even ever dream of having with any kind of mental health professional.

They were cuddled up in bed on a frosty Saturday, Sebastian reading while Blaine traced simple patterns on his hip.

“Do you think it had lasting effects on you? I mean, obviously, it would but I mean, more from the buildup.”

Sebastian looked down at him, puzzled, “What are you talking about, Anderson?”

“Your parents’ divorce.”

Silence expanded through the room after that. Blaine cringed and left a small kiss on Sebastian’s waist.

“Sorry, Sorry. I know you don’t like talking about it.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m extremely sorry, Seb.”

“Don’t be.”

“I am.”

“Listen, I don’t remember much about it except that there were lots of screaming fights. Now, I can’t be in the same room as someone if voices are being raised.”

“Sorry for bringing it up.”

“Stop apologizing, it’s pathetic.”

Blaine punched his arm, “Don’t be a dick. I merely don’t want you to repress anything. Which is the worst coming from me, of all people.”

“I’m not repressing anything. I had a therapist.”

“I can listen, y’know.”

Sebastian snorted and carefully slid his bookmark in, setting his book down, “I have nothing to talk about.”

“Absolutely, you do. But I’m not going to force you.”

“Good.”

The silence wasn’t intolerable this time. They’d come to an agreement (sort of.)

*

There was a lot that Sebastian noticed about Blaine that Blaine didn’t even think he realized he was observing them. 

Sebastian knew his favorite musical, his favorite book, his favorite artist, even his favorite brand of cereal. 

Sebastian recognized that when he was having a bad day, he ordered tea instead of coffee, that he only missed a class when Sebastian’s sick, that he fiddled with his folders when he’s terribly bored while working on homework.

And Sebastian doesn’t even realize he’s noting these things.

It warmed Blaine’s heart regardless.

  
  


“Stop making that face.”

They were silently working on Blaine’s English homework together at their dining room table. Sebastian was correctly pointing out things that Blaine hadn’t distinguished, even though he’d read it far more times than Sebastian. His boyfriend so lovingly offered his help after he sat miserably for nearly two hours scowling down at his notebook and textbook.

Blaine blinked at him, “I’m not making a face, Bas.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re incorrect. You get this odd look on your face when you’re bothered.”

“I do not.”

“You do too, your eyes and nose scrunch up and your lips get pulled in an awful looking frown, one that has your bottom lip poking out,” Sebastian stated matter-of-factly.

“Oh? It sounds like you know a terrible lot about me.”

“Well, I’d hope so. I did throw away everything I’ve ever taught myself to become a boyfriend— your gorgeous boyfriend for that matter.”

Blaine giggled and tenderly laid his hand on Sebastian’s cheek, “And you wouldn’t have it any other way now.”

“No, I wouldn’t. You’ve twisted me into a sap, Blaine Anderson.”

Sebastian grinned and shifted his head to kiss Blaine’s palm. It was delightful. Simple. And one of the most intimate moments of Blaine’s life. He felt raw, stripped bare. He’s felt it before. With Kurt. Like a rubber band being pulled tighter and tighter. Taut until it couldn’t handle being pulled anymore and snapped. He was _in love_. In overwhelming love with Sebastian Smythe. All the pieces fell together simultaneously. He’s in love with this gorgeous boy. This boy who, up until three years ago, swore bitterly he doesn’t have boyfriends, especially longtime boyfriends, or take part in romance. Blaine had known Sebastian for so long. He’d seen what he’s like. How he preferred the quick and no-strings-attached act of rushing frantically into a filthy bathroom with an eager boy who he hadn’t even bothered to learn the name of. 

Currently, here Blaine was, he had fallen in love with the same boy. The same boy who wanted nothing but a blowjob from him in their junior year. And he was _so_ foolish. It felt as if time had passed straight through him. Three years. Three excellent years and he’d fallen in disgustingly warm love with Sebastian Smythe, of all people.

“C’mon, killer, you don’t want to flunk out of your last year of college,” Sebastian flicked his finger to the side of Blaine’s head.

“Ow! Seb! Don’t do that!”

“What?” Sebastian instantly put his hands up in defense, “You were totally zoned out, B.”

“I was thinking.”

“That’s new.”

“Don’t be a jerk.”

*

They fought. Everybody does, no one’s perfect. They both end up saying things they didn’t mean to, and they always seemed to find their way back together. They don’t always apologize either. Sometimes, there’s no need to. Something that was as simple as Sebastian sliding in next to Blaine at the sink and start assisting him with the dishes is enough apology. Blaine would turn on Sebastian’s favorite songs while they were getting settled for dinner or cleaning up or just sitting in uncomfortable silence after they fought and Sebastian would simply just quirk an eyebrow and his lips would press together as he was suppressing a satisfied smile. 

  
  


It wasn’t a secret that Blaine had a hard time believing Sebastian just wanted him and him _only_. So when Sebastian was late— _two hours late_ — coming back to their shared apartment, Blaine instantly started overthinking. Sebastian hadn’t texted him to tell him he wasn’t coming home when he was supposed to and Blaine worried. Had Sebastian encountered some boy to corner in a bathroom? Someone who would merely serve him better than Blaine after he suddenly realized he couldn’t do monogamy.

The door creaked open and Blaine was instantaneously on his feet, rushing to the sound. He offered Sebastian a pointed look.

“Where were you?”

“Missed me that bad, Anderson?” Sebastian teased, oblivious to Blaine’s inner turmoil.

“ _Where_ were you, Sebastian?”

Blaine’s tone caught both Sebastian and himself off guard. Sebastian whipped around and narrowed his eyes but kept unresponsive. He gently dropped the bags he was carefully balancing on his arms (Blaine certainly hadn’t noticed those before,) draped up his coat on the coat rack, their coat rack (Blaine tried to remind himself,) and slipped his shoes off.

“So?”

“So what, Blaine?”

“Are you going to inform me of where you were?”

Sebastian sighed heavily and stepped cautiously into Blaine’s space, “It’s not a big deal, B.”

“Yes, it is! It is a massive deal! You disappeared! You didn’t text me or anything!” Blaine jabbed a finger at Sebastian.

“You don’t always provide a heads up if you’re going to be late.”

“Th— That’s not the point.”

“It doesn’t matter, B. Was boring anyways.”

Blaine’s throat clenched horribly, “It does matter, Sebastian. Because what if— Ugh! What was boring?” _‘The boy you decided was more deserving of your time?’_ died on his lips but it was clear what he was leaving in the air.

“You think I’m cheating on you?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. You don’t trust me. I’ve given you three years of my life, Blaine, and you still don't trust me?”

Why was Sebastian's voice so calm? It infuriated Blaine further.

“That’s clearly enough time to get bored of me.”

“I can’t believe you.”

“I can’t believe _you_! You won’t even tell me where you were!”

“You want to know where I was, fine. I was in the Chemistry lab, the experiment ran longer than we thought it would. But maybe I should tell you that I was with some no-name face in an empty classroom because that’s obviously how highly you think of me.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that? Blaine cried harshly, his nails digging sharply into the palms of his hands.

“It’s unimportant, Blaine. I don’t investigate you every time you come home late. Which, in the last two weeks, has been five times.”

He announced it as home.

Sebastian had called their small two-bedroom apartment _home_. If Blaine had two brain cells to rub together, he would’ve called it quits now. Instead, he was too angry and hurt. Angry at himself, at Sebastian, at the world.

“Well, if you really feel that way— Actually, nevermind. Forget it. You’re a fucking asshole.”

Blaine turned and all but stormed off to his room, he just wanted to cry and be miserable. He wanted to punch something; he wanted to punch Sebastian. Right in his stupid, gorgeous face. But what for? For focusing on his school? For not wanting to be interrogated? For not wanting to be unjustly accused of cheating? 

He threw himself on his bed and let go. His entire body was wracked with violent sobs and heaves. He wished desperately he wasn’t himself.

  
  


They had later apologized, Sebastian carefully prying Blaine from his room after he was sure Blaine had napped after crying hysterically. Sebastian didn’t say anything; he simply led Blaine to their couch and sat him down. He made off in strides, promptly returning with two paper plates of baked (if you could call shoving a frozen pizza into an oven ‘baking’ it) pizza, and settled down on the couch. Blaine placed his head on Seb’s shoulder, leaving an affectionate kiss on his shoulder, and sniffled.

“ _Mi dispiace_. _Mi stavo comportsndo come un bambino._ ”

“Hm, _lo eri, ma ti perdono_ ,” Sebastian glanced at Blaine thoughtfully. “ _Merci ma petite abeille_.”

“No fair, Seb, you can't use Italian and French in the same sentence. I’m not familiar with French!” Blaine whined and raised his hand to Sebastian’s face, fully intending on tracing his freckles and beauty marks forever.

“You know _merci_ and _petite_ ,” Sebastian remarked.

“That’s not what I’m confused on, jerk.”

Sebastian playfully frowned, “What? No _il mio amore_ for me?”

“Not if you keep being a know-it-all ass.”

Sebastian snickered and carefully removed Blaine’s gentle hand from his face, “C’mon, eat your pizza before it gets cold.”

“Yes, mother.”

*

Somewhere along the line, Blaine’s friends had become Sebastian’s too. BlaneandSam movie nights gradually became BlaineandSamandSebastian movie nights, Blaine still would curl up next to Sam, head lying on his best friend’s shoulder and Sam would be overly excitable about almost anything that happened in the movie. The sole difference is that Sebastian was there, sitting next to Blaine and making snarky comments about the movie. Tina joined sometimes when she was free. Sebastian and Tina’s relationship was… strange to say the least. You’d think that she would hate him relentlessly for what he had put Blaine _and_ Kurt through, but besides for Sam, she was the first one to warm up to him.

  
  


“Let me get this straight—,” Sebastian snorted, interrupting Blaine. “Haha, very funny, Bas. _Anyways_ , you’ve never seen _Harry Potter_?”

Sebastian was driving to Sam’s house, his passenger seat sat with grocery bags full of snacks. He was on the phone with Blaine, who was already at the house with Sam and Tina, and Kurt, trying to decide on a movie since it was his turn to pick.

“No.”

“Oh. My. God! Tina! Come here! Seb’s never seen _Harry Potter_.”

“What the actual fuck, Seb! What kind of sacred rock did they keep you under in Paris?” Tina’s mellow voice rang through the phone and before Sebastian could stop himself, he was grinning. 

“I wasn’t under any rock, Tina. I was just far too busy talking guys into my bed, as your precious Kurt likes to call it, to be a geek like that.”

Through the line, Sebastian heard Kurt’s sharp gasp, “I heard that, Smythe!”

“Wasn’t trying to make sure you didn’t, Hummel.”

“ _Sebastian_.”

“Blaine,” Sebastian gently mocked his boyfriend’s stern tone. 

“If you’re done making fun of everyone on the planet, we’re watching the whole Harry Potter Series when you get here.”

“B, that’s eight movies.”

Tina cut in, “So what? It’s not like we have school tomorrow, Blainey Days already told us that you guys are on break.”

“Gee. Thanks, B.”

“You’ll like it, I promise. Since when has Blaine had bad taste.”

“He dated Hummel.”

There was a bark of laughter, and Kurt's voice was near the phone, “As if you’re any better.”

“Boys, boys, you're both pretty. And Teen’s right, you’ll like it.”

“Alright.”

“Trust us.”

“I am. If it’s horrid, I’m murdering all of you.”

As he went to hang up, he heard an offended ‘ _I didn’t do anything_!’ come from Sam.

  
  


It wasn’t bad, he didn’t hate the movies. They didn’t interest him too much, though. He couldn’t bring himself to care too much about how it didn’t pique his interest when he looked towards Tina, Blaine, and Kurt, deep in a lively conversation about how “shitty J.K. Rowling’s writing is” or something along those lines. He bit back several smiles while observing them. He knew he should be jealous of how close Blaine was to his ex-boyfriend but he wasn’t. Any other boyfriend would be insanely jealous and skeptical but what Blaine had with Kurt, even with Tina, was deeper than he could properly understand. Sam, too, but not as much. Sam was too much of a dudebro, in his opinion, to be a part of what those three had. 

Kurt was standing and dismissing himself, the next time he looked at them, mentioning something about how Rachel would possess his head if he was gone for any longer. He leaned down and kissed Blaine’s cheek, then Tina’s. His goodbye with Sam was… something. It was an awkward hug and Sam muttered in Kurt’s ear. Finally, his goodbye to Sebastian. Seb tried to avert his eyes as fast as he could, didn’t want to be caught watching them. He failed, but Kurt didn’t mention it loudly, just embraced him and whispered ‘ _you’re a people-watcher, Smythe_.’ before leaving.

  
  


*

  
  


The first time they said— Blaine said— ‘ _I love you_ ’ was when they were discussing their living plans after they graduate since they didn’t need to live so close to their college now. They had very different career paths but Blaine expressed that he would move anywhere Sebastian wanted. Sebastian’s face mystified and gently explained that he didn’t want Blaine to be completely dependent on him— no matter how much Sebastian loves to pamper him.

  
  


“I’m not depending on you. I just… I genuinely _like_ living with you. Sure, you paying my half of the rent if I didn’t make enough to cover it myself—”

“I don’t even know why you insist on splitting rent,” Sebastian interrupted impatiently. “I can pay for it as a whole. You can keep your money.”

Blaine promptly sent a death glare his way for interrupting, “As I was saying, I’ve liked the environment we’ve made. Not just the apartment, us as a duo. It’s nice. Before senior year, I thought I’d be married to Kurt and sharing a cozy, over-expensive New York apartment. While, obviously, that’s not what I imagine my life will be like anymore. I didn’t even want to go to NYADA after Kurt broke up with me. That was our thing, and I didn’t think a year was enough to be completely over him, so NYADA was out of the question. Then we became friends— well, we _were_ friends— but we became closer and you literally slapped sense into me.

“I realized I didn’t need Kurt. Or anyone, for that matter. Without Kurt, I'm still Blaine Anderson. Yes, I did depend on you when we first started talking but I’m my own person,” Blaine sighed, placing his head on Sebastian’s thigh. “If you left me, it would, undoubtedly, hurt like hell and I’d be so confused and sad and angry. But I wouldn’t just… forget who I am. I sincerely love you with my entire heart. I’ve known that for a while now. You’ve supported me and helped improve me.”

Sebastian felt all warm and simply leaned his head down to tenderly kiss Blaine.

“C’mon, B, let’s look at apartments in Boston.”

“Boston?”

“It’s closer than Paris. And I think you’d like it.”


End file.
